Raquelle Madsen, Department of Dance

My assignment was to create a dance at least ten minutes in length. I decided to use this assignment as a way to inform people about the effects of child abuse. Because dance is abstract it can be used to combat things that are hard to face. I chose this topic because I have seen the effects of abuse on children and have had friends that were abused as children. Their lives can never be “normal.” By creating this dance I could help in the fight against abuse by showing people in Utah that child abuse is even common here. My hope was that by viewing this piece someone would decide to get help to keep from abusing a child; nevertheless. if even one person was touched by it then I succeeded.

I started planning this dance back in October 1994. My theme from the beginning dealt with the effects of child abuse. I had to find the music that fit the theme before I could start thinking of the steps. I searched through my entire music collection and nothing seemed to fit. I found the perfect music in a friend’s collection. The moment I heard two of the pieces on his copy of the Narada “A Childhood Remembered” I knew that I would use them. I originally planned that there would be only two sections so I figured that my search had been completed.

I started putting steps to the music immediately. I didn’t do a lot because I knew that the dance wouldn’t be presented until April 13 and 14, the dates that I had scheduled for the performance.

After Christmas I started mapping out the entire piece. The first section, which I started first, I designed to be a portrayal of the child’s world. I wanted the steps to be based around four women and two men.

At this point I decided that another section needed to be put in between the two I had planned already. This section was very important because it was the portrayal of the actual abuse. At first I thought that it should have sad music like the third section. I searched and found a piece of music that I thought would be perfect. Before I came up with the movement, I talked to my sister, a counselor of abused children, about abuse. I was not abused as a child, therefore my knowledge on the subject was limited. In order to make an accurate portrayal I needed to know as much about abuse as I could. I asked her about typical patterns of abuse and the effects which needed to be portrayed in the dance. At this point she referred me to a person that had been severely abused as a child. I interviewed this person on the telephone and realized that the soft music that I had found would never work. I found a violent sounding piece from the soundtrack of “The Fugitive.” While the interview was st,lll fresh in my mind I mapped out the entire second section. I had found the emotion that I needed from the interview.

While I was working on these sections I was getting dancers to work with me. Although it may seem simple, this task was one of the hardest parts of the project. I needed ballet dancers because it was a ballet. There aren’t very many such dancers, especially male dancers. Right before I started teaching the dancers the steps I had prepared, all of my dancers but two had quit. At this point I couldn’t even get one man. I decided that instead of sacrificing the integrity of my piece that I would delay the production until Spring. I had already rerecorded the music with Troy Sales, purchased most of the costumes, and mapped out most of the steps so I figured that Spring would give me enough time to complete the project.

Most of the dancers committed to the piece during Winter. My greatest joy was when Tess Hooley said that she would dance for me. She danced this past year with Ballet West and is an incredible dancer that I knew could carry the weight of the emotion that I needed from my main dancer, the “abused” one. I started working with her separately first. By the time that I had finished with her individually then I had found my male dancer; David Sevey was not a ballet dancer but could dance well. Since the second section was a duet with these two people, I was able to start working on this section. It was the first to be completed.

I had two of the other three female dancers that I needed for the first and third sections, but I needed one more man. When my last female dancer agreed to be in the piece, I decided to go ahead and redo the piece without the second male, which meant changing the entire first section. I felt extremely rushed to do this task. My first showing was approaching and I didn’t have the first or third sections completed. I worked as hard as I could, and pushed my dancers as far as they could go. I was able to complete the first section and some of the third section for the showing.

I taped the piece and showed it to my instructor. It was a disaster! In my rush to finish the first section, I had forgotten the purpose of that section. It was a pretty dance, but it didn’t portray the child’s world. I had to change the first section once again.

At this point I only had two weeks before the performance. I called extra rehearsals in order to finish. However, there was a major problem with the completion of the piece I needed a fifth female dancer in the third section. I found this person; however, on the morning of the rehearsal she quit. I decided to dance the part myself so that I could perfect the piece before the performance.

After that incident everything started coming together. I called a rehearsal for almost every day. The dancers learned the steps, but were lacking the emotion that was so vital to this dance. My instructor, Pat De benham, helped when he came into one of the rehearsals. He helped to show the dancers what the steps were intended to portray. It made a big difference. I also got my sister to come in and explain to the dancers their roles. Each dancer portrayed very specific characterizations including the abuser, the abused, those that choose to see, and those that choose not to see. My sister was able to show each dancer how to effectively portray their role. For “the abuse”, she gave the image that the one he was “abusing” was all the evil in the world. She told him to imagine this person as Jeffery Dahmer. This image allowed “the abuser” to put the necessary violence into his part.

The last obstacle that had to be crossed was in completing the costumes. The last one arrived the afternoon of the first performance. The costumes were very important to the overall mood. If I had not received the scholarship, then I would not have been able to purchase the costumes that were so perfect. it made a big difference in the final impact.

On June 15 and 16 this dance was performed in “Coming Full Circle” the Senior Projects Showcase. It was exactly what I had wanted. People were crying. I knew it had worked when a person that had been abused came up to me and told me that this piece exactly portrayed what she had gone through. Different people perceived it in many different ways. It was abstract enough that people could individualize it. This dance worked.

I think that this piece speaks for itself so I have included a video of it. I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into its creation. It is a part of me. The success of the dance was partially due to the fact that I spent so much time researching; however, the success is mainly because I had the support from my Father in Heaven. There were many miracles during this creation. Only with His help was I able to complete this piece, and He is the reason that it was successful.